What They Say/What They Mean

What They Say...	What They Mean....
Did you come?	...because I didn't.
I have something to tell you.	Get tested.
I'm a romantic.	I'm poor.
I'll give you a call.	I'd rather have my nipples torn off by wild dogs than see you again.
I never meant to hurt you.	I thought you weren't a virgin.
Trust me.	Let's just keep this between you and me, baby.
I love you.	God, what have I gotten myself into?
I think we should just be friends.	You're ugly.
Haven't I seen you before?	Nice ass.
I want to make love.	I want to make love.
Was it good for you?	I'm insecure about my manhood.
I had a wonderful time last night.	Who the hell are you?
I've been thinking a lot.	You're not as attractive as when I was drunk.
I've learned a lot from you.	Next!
I want a commitment.	I'm sick of jerking off.
I think we should see other people.	I've been seeing other people.
Let's get married.	Does that mean we can do it now?
We don't have to do anything until you're ready.	Put out or get out.
I feel it's time to express our love for each other.	Give me head.
I still think about you.	I miss the sex.
Is there something wrong?	Doesn't it get any harder than this?
You're so mature.	You're eighteen, aren't you?
It's never been like this before.	It's my first time.
Yes.... Yes...(scream!)	Aren't you done yet?

From a recent Usenet post.